Socrates Influence

As I stepped outside, I was surprised to feel the sun kiss my skin instead of scorching it. It was that time in Arizona when people refrained from staying outdoors for too long due to the unbearable heat. Normally, I would rush inside the student union to feel the cold air on my skin, but the sun seemed less inclined to burn today. I decided to take advantage of it and do my work outside as I waited for my next class to start. As usual I took out my laptop, put in my headphones, and drowned out the world. I had yet to speak to anyone today, which unfortunately was not a rare occurrence.

It was the end of March, and I had yet to make any friends at school. It did not help that I was a commuter, only spending time on campus going to my classes. I was also no longer religious, which impeded any chance of relating to my peers. Although, I usually had at least one or two classmates with whom I would make small talk and share notes with.

Today, my usual chatting buddy was absent, so I spent the class taking notes and trying not to fall asleep as the professor droned on and on about how important community was. I thought sociology was going to be a lot more interesting than the professor unintentionally shaming the lonely existence I call my life.

I definitely thought I would start enjoying these psychology classes the further I got into my degree but that no longer seemed likely. When I was not doing homework, my mind would wander and conjure up stories filled with eccentric and flawed characters that experienced a life far more exciting than my own.

What I did with these daydreams depended on the day. On a good day, I would fill my notebook expanding upon the plot and setting with which my characters would take place. However, on a bad day, which let’s be honest, was most of them, I would push those silly thoughts aside and focus on my schoolwork.

As I sat outside, I realized that despite the nice weather, today was another “bad day.” I forced myself to complete the work and study. I reminded myself that psychology was a smart choice, a stable choice. I would get my bachelor’s degree and then apply to grad school. I would end up getting my doctorate and become the best psychologist I could. I would have enough money to not only just get by but to live a comfortable life. That was the plan, and it was a good plan, a stable plan.

My days went on like this for a long time. Always hoping for the reprieve of having at least one good day that week. One moment of not feeling hopeless and stuck.

It was not until I took Introduction to Honors Education and Academic Literacies with Professor Cook that I began to rethink the plan. I read a quote written by Plato in The Apology that read, “the unexamined life is not worth living.” These words struck a place deep within me.

For so long I had forced myself to ignore my problems and never look too closely at my life. However, Socrates was right! My life, filled with loneliness and regret, was not one worth living. I did not want to spend the rest of my life hoping and praying for good days.

In that moment of self-reflection, I decided. I was no longer going to let fear control my life. I wanted a life filled with happiness, passion, and people with whom I had deep connections with.

Soon after taking Professor Cook’s class, I made an appointment with my counselor and switched my major to Professional Writing for New Media. As soon as I signed those papers, I knew I had made the right choice.

As my sophomore year began, I felt renewed. Like I was stepping onto campus for the very first time. I was given a second chance, and I was not going to squander it.

I arrived at the Introduction for Professional Writing early. I sat outside the classroom, anxiously waiting. I was so excited to learn more about my dream career and meet people with similar aspirations.

I was looking down at my phone when a girl wearing all black and a lot of jewelry approached me. She asked if I was in the Introduction to Professional Writing class. Once I confirmed that I was, she sat down next to me and introduced herself.

“My name is Gracie by the way,” she said.

I laughed and said, “that’s my name too!”

We both started giggling then, we could not believe the coincidence. We continued talking and it was finally time to enter the classroom. We sat down next to each other near the front and discussed our shared interests in literature.

Internally I was screaming, this was only my first day in my new major and I had already made a potential friend. The classroom started filing in with other students and the professor.

Her name was Professor Kimbel Westerson and I could immediately tell by her presence that I was going to learn a lot from this woman. She had natural confidence and command over the room. She had years of experience, and I could tell that my peers were just as intimidated by her as I was.

As the semester continued my intuition proved right. I was learning so much and quickly became a better writer. I also met several other people in my class that I truly loved. I began to form my own little community within the professional writing major, and I finally understood what my old sociology professor was talking about. Community provides a sense of belonging and an unyielding support system, I feel incredibly lucky to have found mine.